How Do We Wisely Use the Past?

There is one thing every person has in common - we cannot change our past.   Many people feel shadowed by their unhappy past and try hard to minimize it, justify it, use it as an excuse for poor choices, or repress it completely.    Others have had blessing upon blessing and are well-equipped to handle life's challenges.   

People who fall into the latter group, no matter how kind life has been, still do not escape unscathed.   Everyone has hurts and pains to some degree, right?    Disappointments, grudges, regrets, grief, failures, heartbreaks, guilt, feeling misjudged, etc.    When someone uses phrases like "raw deal", "hard luck", "tough break", "hot water", "Catch-22" and so forth we can relate since we have "been there" emotionally and psychologically.    

So are the injuries of the past an enemy that keeps us enslaved or can we regain lost ground and come out - not necessarily completely uninjured - but more resilient, more perceptive, and a lot wiser?  

Timothy Keller offers the following prayer, "Lord, you are the ultimate teacher of wisdom.  You sat with your disciples and taught them in parables.  Now help me learn wisdom from my experience."

Proverbs 4:25-26 advises, "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.  Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways." 

Although we cannot forget the past completely, it is unwise to stay "stuck" in it.   Feelings of resentment and lack of forgiveness are understandable at times, but we must let go of the safety rails (e.g. self-sufficiency, substance abuse, control issues) and surrender to God.  Safety rails may feel safe out of their familiarity; however, they are not really safe and never lead us to a place of security.   

God will take us down a path toward healing and discernment when we let go.  That emotional energy has to go somewhere and since we cannot change history we can only move forward.   The hurt needs a legitimate outlet that is future-focused and filled with hope.  In turn, we can become empowered to turn the "bad" of the past into a force for good toward others and a source of growth for ourselves.    

What safety rails are you hanging onto?   

















Source:  God's Wisdom for Navigating Life by Timothy Keller

Downton Abbey: Facing Evil Alone

 I'm not much of a TV watcher but I was captured by Downton Abbey from the first ring of a servant's bell.   The events of this past week's show (Season 4, episode 2) were a little traumatizing.   Anna, arguably the kindest character in the series, is sexually assaulted by a visiting servant while her husband, and everyone else, is upstairs listening to a guest's opera performance.     The characters have endured heartbreaking losses and behaved badly at times but this event is the most depraved of all.    Anna is found afterward by Mrs. Hughes, the housekeeper, and makes her promise to tell no one, not even her husband Bates, what happened.   Her reaction to the attack initially seems counter-intuitive.    Not even her husband?!  

The show closed with Anna appearing very traumatized but determined to be silent.  Why?  Why not let her husband Bates go after her attacker immediately while he's still around?  For one thing, Anna knows Bates would be so angry he might kill him.  Good reasoning since she doesn't want to lose her husband to prison or the death penalty.  The more complex reason may be the social stigma she would have to endure in an era that was not kind to women of any class.   In other words, her entire future would be in jeopardy.   In our era, women are encouraged to seek help immediately in such a situation and generally have immediate resources to rely upon.   But not Anna.

The most disturbing aspect of this storyline is that it was a reality faced by some women during that time.   Although innocent, the victim could pay an even higher price by seeking justice.   Short of funeral scenes, the Downton Abbey producers rarely include anything about spirituality so this deeper aspect of the characters' lives is never developed.   We will probably see signs of depression in the normally cheerful Anna as she carries this awful secret alone (except for the housekeeper).   However she deals with it, internalizing trauma will have a profoundly negative impact on her.   

Of course, the storyline has to develop so I'm guessing eventually other characters will know about it.  In the meantime, what could Anna (or anyone who's ever been in a similar situation) do?    There is One who she can go to for help.   God views rape as a grave offense.   Deut. 22:25-27 states:

But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death.  For this case is like that of a man attacking and murdering his neighbor, because he met her in the open country, and though the betrothed young woman cried for help there was no one to rescue her.

Society in that era might try to lay some of the blame on Anna (e.g. "She must've provoked him") but God makes it clear that she is to be viewed as an innocent victim.   No excuses!   Supposing justice never comes for Anna and the man is never held accountable to anyone, there is still comfort in the knowledge that God will not let it go.   Although God is love (1 John 4:8), he is also a warrior (Exo 15:3), a and defender of the weak and helpless (Ps 68:5).   Someday those who commit such crimes and never repent will stand before God and it will be absolutely terrifying, for Hebrews 10:31 states,  "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."