Social Anxiety Disorder

Sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, dry mouth...these are typical things most of us are familiar with in situations where we feel nervous about something.    But what if you feel this way all the time?  What if you are so anxious in social settings that you have panic attacks or avoid situations completely because you are terrified of being embarrassed, being criticized, or offending other people in some way?   What if these fears prevent you from accomplishing important goals and dreams?    

When social anxiety has a significant impact on your relationships or career and educational goals, then its likely you may be suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder.   Yes, its a real thing and it goes way beyond the average experience of "social butterflies".   

Below are the features of Social Anxiety Disorder (aka Social Phobia) according to the DSM-V (that giant book of officially recognized mental disorders) in short form:

A)  Experiencing intense anxiety about one or more social situations when there's a possibility of scrutiny from other people (e.g. meeting someone new, eating in front of others, asking for directions).  
B) The person is afraid of behaving in a way that could be embarrassing which he or she believes will result in being negatively evaluated (e.g. humiliated, rejected).   
C) The situation causes intense fear and anxiety.   This is not the kind of fear or anxiety about, say, giving a speech or performing in front of an audience when you normally don't have to.   This level is more on the debilitating end of fear/anxiety spectrum.
D) You endure the intense fear and anxiety "to just get through" a situation or avoid it completely.
E) These intense emotions are out of proportion to the actual perceived threat.   
F)  The fears or avoidance keep coming back and last at least 6 months.   
G)  The fears or avoidance cause "clinically significant" distress and interfere with your ability to cope well in either your job, school, or relationships.
H)  The fears or avoidance are not a result of substance abuse or medication.
I) The fears or avoidance are not a result of another mental disorder (e.g. autism, body dysmorphic disorder).
J) The fears or avoidance are not related a medical condition (e.g. obesity, disfigurement, Parkinson's disease).

The main things to keep in mind here are that these fears and avoidance behaviors are having a seriously negative impact on a person's life AND they are out of proportion to any actual threat.  In other words, if someone is being bullied or abused then fear and avoidance are to be expected.    

Also, Social Anxiety Disorder almost always begins before a person reaches adulthood.   

The good news is that you don't have to stay stuck and forever inhibited by this disorder.   Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - as well as Exposure Therapy - has proved through research to be effective in helping people deal with their social anxiety successfully and achieve things that seemed out of reach before.   

How Do We Wisely Use the Past?

There is one thing every person has in common - we cannot change our past.   Many people feel shadowed by their unhappy past and try hard to minimize it, justify it, use it as an excuse for poor choices, or repress it completely.    Others have had blessing upon blessing and are well-equipped to handle life's challenges.   

People who fall into the latter group, no matter how kind life has been, still do not escape unscathed.   Everyone has hurts and pains to some degree, right?    Disappointments, grudges, regrets, grief, failures, heartbreaks, guilt, feeling misjudged, etc.    When someone uses phrases like "raw deal", "hard luck", "tough break", "hot water", "Catch-22" and so forth we can relate since we have "been there" emotionally and psychologically.    

So are the injuries of the past an enemy that keeps us enslaved or can we regain lost ground and come out - not necessarily completely uninjured - but more resilient, more perceptive, and a lot wiser?  

Timothy Keller offers the following prayer, "Lord, you are the ultimate teacher of wisdom.  You sat with your disciples and taught them in parables.  Now help me learn wisdom from my experience."

Proverbs 4:25-26 advises, "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.  Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways." 

Although we cannot forget the past completely, it is unwise to stay "stuck" in it.   Feelings of resentment and lack of forgiveness are understandable at times, but we must let go of the safety rails (e.g. self-sufficiency, substance abuse, control issues) and surrender to God.  Safety rails may feel safe out of their familiarity; however, they are not really safe and never lead us to a place of security.   

God will take us down a path toward healing and discernment when we let go.  That emotional energy has to go somewhere and since we cannot change history we can only move forward.   The hurt needs a legitimate outlet that is future-focused and filled with hope.  In turn, we can become empowered to turn the "bad" of the past into a force for good toward others and a source of growth for ourselves.    

What safety rails are you hanging onto?   

















Source:  God's Wisdom for Navigating Life by Timothy Keller